Life with an ADHD'r

This is the thing ~ you think everything is finally going well. He's finally fitting in at school and finally has a 'kind of' friend. His classmates are 'kind of' accepting him and his sometimes insane behaviour....

And then... he just can't stop himself from getting in his own damn way.

After a rough few days at home, you think you're getting through to him, last night was great; he did the dishes, without too much fuss and drama, and you actually took a good long time with him at bedtime ~ things are looking up (or so you tell yourself as you're laying in bed trying to sleep).

The kids all got off to school ok, hubby even drove them in this morning so I could just make lunches in my pyjamas and have a nice long shower after they're gone... They've just left and I'm enjoying my first cup of coffee in the morning, the house is quiet and I get a chance to glance at my cell phone ~ and here it begins.... a text from his teacher from this morning. It reads something along the lines of 'could we maybe not meet before school if it's too early, perhaps we could meet at 9:15 when the kids are still reading quietly' (they read their chapter books first thing after coming in to sort of settle into the idea of sitting at their desks and getting to work). I'm sort of caught thinking, hmm... I had no idea we were meeting this morning and it's too late anyways, I didn't do drop off and am un-showered and still in my pajamas. So I text her back that I didn't do drop off, had no idea we were meeting and is something going on? And panic sets in. What is going on? It's never just to meet and chat, or meet and shoot the breeze... it's always to meet because of something he's done, is doing, or hasn't done, or isn't doing. It's never good. I frantically check my email, and there it is ~ a messages, sent at nearly 11pm letting me know that he did something horrible at school at the end of the day yesterday and it needs to be dealt with today. Great. I text her back and let her know I've got the email and that I can come to the school and meet with her to sort it out at lunch time.

This morning has not been awesome. I've run around like a chicken with my head cut off and cleaned incessantly, I have yet to shower and it's 11:50am. I'm stressed, frazzled, and annoyed. Not at her, and not really at him... more at the fact that he knew yesterday that he'd done wrong and didn't say a word... all last night... nothing. Her email stated clearly that he knew he was doing wrong, but did it anyway (for the attention), and how he's just getting to the point of fitting in and making friends and why is he sabotaging himself? I've wondered this myself for years. He just can't seem to get out of his own way, control his behaviour at all... He's so immature for his age it's unreal. And yet, he's so smart, and so capable. He could be a straight A student if he put any effort in at all. He has an amazing memory and can recite everything you just said, even when you think he wasn't listening and are quizzing him, this I know for sure because I've done it myself, and heard from every teacher that he does it to them too ~ even in French class... He acts like a raving lunatic, and the teachers think he hasn't caught a word of their lecture because he's preoccupied with his insane behaviour and of course he can spill out the entire lecture word for word. It's a bit annoying actually.

I have no idea how to get though to him. He knows better. He's smarter than this. But he is also immature, attention seeking, overly dramatic, and completely not in control of his impulses ~ I wish I could get through to him that like all super-heros, he needs to use his powers for good.

Best go bathe, put my big-girl panties on, and go find out what he did ~ and then find an appropriate consequence, and a better way to teach yet another lesson in life ~ that will actually get through to him. Oh, and lest not forget to hug him and help his heart to heal because the worst thing for him is really the remorse... he can't go back and undo it ~ and he really doesn't understand either, why he does these ridiculous 'self-sabotaging' things. ;-(

Epic Homework Battles

The Epic Homework Battle is killing me. It's making me a deranged lunatic.

My son is 10. In grade 5. And hardly has *any* homework. Really. None during the week and only the tiniest amount on weekends. And he still can't manage to organize his time and get it done.

I'm completely at my wits end. Every weekend is a battle, from Thursday night to Sunday night, every minute is filled with "Is your homework done yet?", and "Just go get it done!!". Every request to call friends, or have fun is answered with "When your homework is done.", and still.... it is Sunday night and I've just finished making an amazing dinner... Yet I'm taking a "Mommy-time-out" while everyone else eats (except the homework kid... who is now under the authority of his father to: just get it done!!!), because the fighting had gotten to the point where I just really needed to go to my room and shut my door and let Dad sort this one out.

Which brings me to another frustration... why is it that when Dad is home in the mornings the kids move their butts and are at school on time, but when it's me on kid-duty, we are *always* late. When did it get to be that mom is just ignored and left in total frustration, while Dad is able to get things done?

So there it is... the Epic Battle that has left me feeling beyond miserable, completely frustrated and locked in my bedroom when I really should be enjoying an amazing Sunday Dinner of Stuffed Red Peppers... that take ages to make...

Oh, and the homework? 2 paragraphs (5 sentences each) on Canadian Geography. Seriously. Topic sentence, 3 content sentences and one conclusion sentence per paragraph. The worst part is, once my son decides to actually do it, it will take him less than 15 minutes ~ it will be written neatly in cursive, paragraphs indented, proper punctuation, title and proper boarders around the page. Once he puts his mind to it, it will take no time at all. Except that every weekend it takes 4 days of fighting to get him to the place where he will finally just do it.

Heaven help me when the other 3 start getting homework.